FAQ and doubts you might have__

How quickly will I see results? Don't say "that depends"

I won't but you know it. Did my parents talk about feelings? Was there violence? How much experience of therapy, self-reflection and romantic relationships do I have? How well can I access physical sensations? Many people come in and say "I don't feel anything", "my body doesn't work the way I want it to" or "I spend the whole day brooding over..." and have not yet been allowed to learn any of the connections between these descriptions. Others have done yoga for ten years and taken LSD every six months. I work with you with efficien precision and goal-oriented, but I must remind you that we are biological beings and neuroplasticity (which enables us to learn things, change thoughts, feel emotions and store memories) takes time, like everything else we do. Unfortunately, one day of sit-ups does not give you a six-pack.

I'm worried about consequences in my social environment 

The so-called fallout, when friends are suddenly no longer allowed to do everything with you because you set boundaries, or when your partner becomes jealous because you suddenly go to the gym or change your diet without them, is normal and part of development and in no way detrimental, but an important indicator of the next steps. Just as typical, in addition to astonishment and initial resistance, is the momentum that sweeps you along, partners or friends who welcome and support the change and use the momentum that this new dynamic brings with it. This often takes the relationship to a new level. This does not apply to situations of domestic violence or psychological abuse in the workplace, affecting physical safety and causing existential fears, this is not an environment for growth but support.

Can I get a payment plan for the intensives and workshop days?

Absolutely. It's not uncommon for clients to plan part of their vacation to work in high frequency settings. Before or after important projects and decisions in their professional and private lives, or as a kind of "treatment" during the parliamentary summer recess for an integration intensive. In the comfort of their own home, they can initiate changes (sleep hygiene, diet, exercise) and work through emotional distress under my close supervision, and then integrate the results into everyday life with appointments every other month to further consolidate new behaviour. Just a few months to get to a new level (of your self, the emotional horizon, and one's own ability to build relationships or brake patterns). The total cost can be paid over the entire period of our work.

I gotta stay functional in my regular life, is this gonna be intense?

No client has ever "decompensated" that they couldn't continue their daily life. There will for sure be days and sessions that touching sensitive and painful topics that require your full attention. You will always have all resources and me on your side to face this and time this challenge as conveniently as possible. A challenging intervention might be better before a long weekend or maybe the trip to your sister's wedding will be something that opens up old wounds and needs and extra session. This might not have  been included in the original treatment plan, but is simply important and necessary and therefore obviously available and tailored to your needs.

My partner sends me here and I really don't think I should come

We all know that projects are more successful when they are started on our own initiative, but I am convinced that life partners are not the ideal people to bring out this drive, as you can't really speak of neutrality when "he finally needs to be more organized" or "she just doesn't need to be so moody". I don't work with clients in refusal, as the waiting list is long and others are suffering and do want change. But I guarantee you that I will look at your situation with all openness, show you options and perspectives, and listen to you about why there might be someone in your life who wants to change you so badly - and how you feel about that. We will then discuss to what extent you might want to come to me with your own themes or whether working together with your partner might make sense.

I knoooow what I should be doing more or less of, what's the difference with your work?

We all know (on a logical level) what we should be doing: how we should react, which activities to attend or to skip; what we should eat, when bedtime is past again and who we need to set a boundary with. I call this experience "clear vision, perceived barrier" and know it from everyday practice as well as from many years of my own life in which I thought with disappointment "You have got to be kidding me", told friends "every time this or that happens to me, I gotta be unlucky" or had to turn down a job because I failed again due to expectations, health restrictions or everyday world-weariness.

If you already know what to do you'll have me dealing with the parts of you that don't care about that info.

The person this is about is not in my life anymore...what will that look like?

Based in image rescripting and memory consolidation, I often work with losses or things that still needed to be said but for various reasons cannot be addressed. I also often encounter the desire for retribution, revenge or at least a remorseful apology or simple compensation, and this can seem entirely justified. Clients who have already been confronted with the death of a loved one or also perpetrator successfully integrate emotional blockages with this work. I can assure you that presence is in no way necessary and sometimes even detrimental, just as trauma patients with this work don't have to go back to the fire (although so-called confrontation therapy is an exception here and may be indicated in certain cases - I don't this way).

Can I bring my partner, mother, friend? 

You can bring anyone and everything (except for pets, as there are others who have allergies) that gives you strength. And together we can find out in which life situations you (have to) outsource your feeling of safety and security and why. And we'll a way to awaken this inherent quality in you again.

Do I have to talk about my childhood?

Of course not. In the here and now there are so many issues to be resolved that you won't leave a single session without having learned something about being human, yourself, in your relationships, regarding your patterns and how to seize opportunities or handle what reality throws at you. I am trained to exclude topics that too are stressful for you as much as I can responsibly do. If we keep running into same obstacles and limitations in different areas and I notice patterns related to attachment, we will discuss how to proceed and whether your willingness might have changed after a few session or what would be needed for that to happen. Or maybe you by then have already reached the level you were aiming for and some things are to be left unsaid.

I can't remember my childhood

Me neither! Almost at least. Even though I am in no way transferring my personal story to clients, I can report from my own experience and my extensive work on this topic that whatever is there is enough and is therefore exactly the right thing to start with. The often assumed idyllic childhood, in which a lot of things were maybe not talked about but at least no one was hit and there was always enough food on the table, is another example from this category, in which one does not remember what was not there. Nor the love, closeness or trust that simply also simply weren't. "Nothing happened" in childhood is not nothing that happened.

I'd love to work with you but my partner is not pretty skeptical

The wonderful social arena of our existence demands so much: interest, empathy, humour, knowledge and understanding, vocabulary and voice modulation; plus openness to introspection and experiencing emotional worlds of the self and those around me. And you're constantly balancing your very own temperament and mood in sometimes horrible situations. It's naive to believe that we are all equally well equipped with this variety of skills and requirements. And the same goes for opening up to strangers - let's have a look together at the necessary adjustments that will enable both of you to experience something new with curiosity and motivation.

Why do you do so many different things?

I'm doing one thing, namely the human curriculum. The sub-disciplines of our biology, psychology, environment and narrative contexts are puzzle pieces of a single phenomenon, just as we cannot separate the head from the body or the human from her or his society. If you suffered a developmental disadvantage impacting the hormonal or neurotransmitter status or show non-integrated early childhood reflexes (no matter why - nature, nurture, or caused by illness or an accident), all processes and subsequent steps that build on this are restricted: Your posture, your facial expression, your ability to respond with empathy or ability or to focus, let go of anger, enjoy someone's company or to have "willpower" and stop procrastinating. Everything is one thing which is why this work brings together all life domains in a holistic and differentiated way.

even more answers__

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